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Finding  Mr. Right or Ms. Right    
By Shelly Oldman  


A true soulmate can make a big difference in your life.   To some people,  a soulmate can simply happen to come along, and they hook up instantly.   To others, it may be a tedious search process, a trial and error, a hit and miss.   Like the pursuit of an education, a career, the search for a soulmate is worth the efforts.   Develop a game plan, and stick to it.    Here are the WHAT, WHEN, WHO, WHERE  factors to consider in your search.

WHAT?   Personality Match

Birds of the same feathers flock together.  Studies have shown that people are attracted to those who have the same minds and similar inclinations.  We are attracted to friends or partners who are similar to ourselves, whether economically, psychologically or physically.  The attraction to a matching mate is part of our evolution process.  We look for someone with the same level of education, earning power, physical attributes, intelligence, and hobbies or interests.

WHEN? Right time, Right person, Right place

Timing plays a big factor when it comes to falling in love.  It is possible to meet the right person at the most inconvenient time, when you are either busy with your schooling or career.  On the other hand, you could be ready to commit timewise, but the right person has not shown up.   How do you know when you are truly in love?  When Cupid strikes, you will find that you will happily give up other possibilities, just to be with the person you love.   The key thing is to be open to the possibilities, be ready when the right person shows up.  True love is worth all the efforts you can muster.

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WHO?  Defining the right person. 

You know what car you like to drive, where you like to vacation, how your steak should be cooked, but do you know what type of mate you like.   Sometimes,  we get carried away defining the physical profile of a person and miss out what really matters.  Many times, the perfect matches are the ones that make the deep connection, beyond the exterior surface.   So, start off with defining the personality traits that you like or do not like.    For example, you may like someone who care about themselves.  This person may not have the latest fashion trends, but the important thing is that they care about themselves.  

WHERE?  Finding a needle in a haystack.

For young people, high schools and universities are great places for meeting like-minded persons.   For those in the workfields, many are finding themselves isolated or limited in their social circles.  With today’s technological advances, one can easily engage in worldwide commerce from a small room in a basement.   This means that there are many men or women, who go about doing their business, hardly meeting any potential mate.  One way to counter this is to join some hobby clubs – hiking clubs, sailing clubs, tennis clubs….., go to single or speed dating events.

HOW?  Expand your Search Circle
Some people are not merely uncomfortable joining clubs or going to single events, they simply do not have the time to do so.   Take a proactive approach and expand your search circle.  Imagine yourself in a room with 10 or 20 potential matches.  This is what an online matching service does.   It does all the legwork for you and speed up the process.

How do I know?  I’ve been through these all, and I am speaking from experience.     

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